What Christians REALLY believe

Do y'all remember the glorious simple conversations we used to have before the advent of Presuppositional Apologetics? Sure we all had a bunch of opposing worldviews and shit, but at least we were fucking transparent aboot it. Now look at what we got: It's all fucked-up philosophical word games for three dick-munching hours at a time. "You can't define the truth of self-awareness so how do you know for certain that your reality is not a self-refuting falsehood? I win, muthafucka." Fuck that shit. Let's all lay our muthafuckin cards on da table and be PROUD of what we BELIEVE. Bitch.